Now I can relate
To those post that say “that feelings when the one person you want to talk to won’t text you”. I can relate to feeling invisible. Not feeling loved. Not being wanted. I can relate to feeling what its like to jot have anything.
I guess this is what its like to feel alone. Feeling by yourself in a crowd of people.
Its only been a few hours but feels like days. Maybe I’m too emotional. Maybe this makes it seem like I’m guilty. But I’ve never felt like this. Like a psycho. I’ve gone insane. I’m relating to the crazy girlfriend.
But like another friend of mine said.. If they don’t obsess over you they don’t care. (probably sarcasm) but I feel like its true now since I’m relating.
All I need in this life of sin. Is me and my boyfriend.
Why wasn’t I trusted?
Relationships are built on that supposedly right? So why does it seem my “perfect” on lacks this the most.
Yea I get paranoid and worried that something may happen but ik that it won’t. So why isnt it the same on his end? why would someone I revolve my life around think that I would do anything to hurt them? someone that I need? my first love? My everything? Assume thwarting worst?
I’m numb.
I need to learn how to be alone
I’m clingy. Since I spent so much time being by myself once before when someone finally gave me the attention that I was asking for I hooked on. And that was a baffled choice on my end. I’m being completely emotional and irrational. Just because someone is doing something without me and can actually enjoy themselves shouldn’t make me angry or sad. But it does. I shouldn’t need a person more than they need me but I do. I shouldn’t love someone more than I love myself but I do.
I went from “I hate people” to “I need people”
its not that I crave attention from everyone. Just the attention I give to someone and the love and all of that I want back
But then thia is probably me over reacting and over thinking again. I’m ruining things for myself.
I’m hopeless.
